I wanted to share a thought on simcha in memory of your father, alav hashalom. May the zechus of the Torah shared at his yartzeit seuda, along with the chessed that will be done through your gemach, be an aliyah for his neshama.
At the end of the Tochacha in Sefer Devarim, the pasuk says that these terrible curses come as a result of not having served Hashem with simcha. Rabbi Frand says that it appears quite harsh that bnei Yisrael should receive such strong curses because they are not doing mitzvos with simcha. They are, after all, still doing the mitzvah.
Rabbi Frand presents another difficulty with this idea. Chazal tell us that the Tochacha that we find at the end of Sefer Vayikra corresponded to the events of the First Bais Hamikadash. The Tochacha in Parshas Ki Savo is referring to the period leading up to the destruction of the Second Bais Hamikadash. We know the reason the Second Beis HaMikdash was destroyed was because of sinas chinam. So these two lessons of Chazal seem to contradict each other. Was the second Bais Hamikadash destroyed because of sinas chinam or was it destroyed because they didn't serve Hashem with simcha?
Rabbi Frand suggests that maybe there is no contradiction. That, in fact, there is a link between the ideas of sinas chinam and not serving Hashem with simcha. Failure to serve Hashem with joy, in turn, leads to Sinas Chinam.
Rabbi Frand concludes with the following quote:"When a person is happy with himself, the feeling is contagious. He is willing to share that peace and that happiness. Those feelings affect other people. When a person is not happy with himself, he is miserable and he dislikes other people's happiness or success. Just as happiness rubs off, so too unhappiness rubs off and such a person cannot be satisfied with anyone else's success."
When a person is b'simcha, they exude an ahavas chinam, a love for their fellow Jew. This beautiful trait and lesson for all of us was something I always saw in Dr. Rubin, a"h. Regardless of the situation, he was always b'simcha; always with a smile. His simcha was contagious! He had a zeal for learning Torah and doing mitzvos. His love for every Jew was unparalleled. Though I never saw these ideas as being related, having the zechus of knowing Dr. Rubin, I now see how these middos are actually one.
