Amira's hesped (eulogy)

From Amira Rubin:

(The levaya was erev Shabbos and I wanted everyone to get home for Shabbos -- Abba wouldn't mind, he would make us take our erev Shabbos showers before chatzos whenever he could. He was a big fan of everyone getting ready for Shabbos early. So here are thoughts of what I would have shared.)

Thank you so much for coming.

I am proud to be my father’s daughter. I aspire to be like Abba. I like to think that I’ve inherited a lot of his personality traits. Abba continues to be my life mentor. When I spoke with Ima before making my flights and was trying to get to LA for the hespedim and then Newark for the flight to Israel she said “do what you need to do, know that Abba loved you no matter what.” And I know this to be true.

Abba made everyone feel comfortable. Abba loved to entertain guests. He’d know a little bit about every topic under the sun, he was a voracious reader and would just pick up facts about cities, careers, global and local issues. He’d ask guests questions about themselves and since he was a semi-expert in everything he could get a conversation going with anyone. He’d meet you once and remember your hometown or your random hobby and every time he saw you he’d talk about that detail like you and your fun fact were the most important thing in the world. He had an amazing memory and used it for the power of good.

He knew just the right things to say when I was having a challenge with a coworker, or with the chesed events I run. B”H I’ve been zoche to make a bunch of shidduchim, many of them through events, but it takes a lot of work to run events and make sure they are good. I would give Abba my post-event recaps, and I’d complain because he really knew what I needed to hear. And I’d say I don’t know if I can do this again and after the last event he said “you say that every time and then every time you pick yourself up and run another event!” And he was right. I think most people's default setting is to focus on the challenge and forget about the big picture and the positive opportunities. But Abba was great at finding the golden nuggets in bad situations.

Abba always got excited. About everything! I’d come to breakfast and he’d say “what a nice skirt!” And it was an ugly plaid skirt, it was the school uniform skirt, but to Abba everything was exciting.

We were very blessed to have a few rabbis come speak in Abba’s honor over the past few months and Rabbi Krohn even called Abba and mailed him DVDs. Abba said when he spoke with Rabbi Krohn he felt touched by an angel. The pursuit of Torah learning was very dear to his heart and B”H he passed that along to all us kids.

There are tons of funny stories and happy times, that’s what I want to remember. For example, there was a family that moved from Ohio and they were very lonely in LA. My dad went up to them in the kosher pizza store and invited them for Friday night dinner. They were so touched. “Don’t you need to ask your wife?” and Abba said no, don’t worry about it. And my mom was very welcoming to guests too. This couple went on to become very close friends of my parents.

He died a tzadik, but really worked on himself to reach that madrega. He read tons of Rabbi Twerski and Rabbi Pliskin books, he went to counseling, gave counseling. And just last week I had asked Rabbi Zelig Pliskin to give my dad a call, and he did. Abba was too sick to pick up the phone but he told me later that he received two voice mails from R’ Pliskin and was very touched by the chizuk. To Abba, everything was under the heading of etzba H-shem.

Abba and I shared an incredible bond and I wouldn’t trade that for anything in this world. So while I am sad for my loss I am confident that the life lessons Abba has taught us enable us to now be the one to fight the dragons and become the hero, learn more Torah and make other people feel good.

Abba is in our hearts, and I feel so grateful to have him as my father. And thank you again for being here. It means a lot to us.