Where can I begin in expressing my feelings towards Abba. It is hard to believe that he is no longer with us in this world. I miss him terribly. While I was not a biological child, one could hardly tell the difference if you didn't know. From the day I first met Abba (back in 1999 (June 20th to be exact), and was immediately ushered to the backyard for a party snapper throw (although I think that was Ema's idea!) I have been treated as if I was a 5th Rubin child. I felt Abba's love as if I was a true biological son. The mere fact that he entrusted me to be his son in law and marry my eishes chayil shows how he felt about me. I loved him and will truly miss him. He was a true Abba to me. I could call him with questions, ask for advice and I had no reservations in doing so. To be completely honest, I never really considered him my father-in-law, he was always Abba. While many certainly have highlighted his road to frumkeit and his bein adam laMakom, I really am floored by his bein adam lachaveiro. I do not remember speaking negatively about others. Lashon Hara was a a no-no. He practiced what others preached. While every grandparent has a genuine love for their grandchildren, I cannot get past how much he loved his little kitty kat (Avigayil) and all of the googoopies. I am crushed that Shmuel will probably not remember him but am heartened that Shalom, Akiva and Avigayil (hopefully) will have warm memories of Saba's love. Abba's love of life, family and Torah is a mussar to me. While many talk the talk, Abba walked the walk in how he lived his life. Such a zest and gusto (do I need to say more than just hearing his laugh-which I believe Rabbi Tendler made mention of in his hesped). I cry when I think about how my favorite chag of the year, yes Pesach (chock full of romaine lettuce and Shatzer Matza), and more specifically the seder night(s)(for us chutznikim) will never be the same. The joy of Abba hiding the Afikomen and the kids running around giddily trying to find it is priceless. While we will make new seder memories, those are ones I can never forget. It meant so much, especially in retrospect, that Abba was able to make it to us for Chanukah this past year. The trip was not easy for him by any stretch, but he loved all of us and cancer be damned, he made it and saw his grandkids. I regret never really telling him how I truly felt about him. I hope I lived up to and will live up to being a son in law zocheh to have had a father in law as loving, accepting and genuine as Abba.
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